


Tony Whisperer

by Blue_Hood



Series: Not What They Seem [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Souled Vampire(s), Supernatural Elements, Urban Legends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-19 22:27:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19365109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Hood/pseuds/Blue_Hood
Summary: Clint and Pepper have lunch.





	Tony Whisperer

Tony Stark was an insomniac, finding out he'd been living with a bloodsucker for the better part of a year did not help him sleep. After meeting Clint's kids, who were nice if a little unstable- his namesake was more than a little unhinged- he had even more nerves to work through. Clint had gotten him Anthony's sequencer as promised, which was something he set aside for once the nerves passed, At the moment, there's no way he'd do anything other than turn it into something else and forget how to turn it back.

Sighing at the sight of Tony in his workshop, Clint turned and walked purposefully towards the elevator "JARVIS, how soon can I meet with Pepper alone? There's something I think she should know and I know Tony can't handle any more information on my species."

"Her lunch hour is open today."

"Perfect. How long until then? I have trouble tracking time."

"Two hours."

"Alright, that's good. Take me to my floor, please."

In his kitchen, Clint lifted a case that looked like a hospital cooler (like they use for organs) from under the sink. Setting it on the counter, he grabbed his green first aid kit. The red one was real, the green one was for him. As he pulled a bag of blood out of his freezer, the elevator opened to let Bruce onto the floor. Without looking away from the microwave, Clint said  "Hey, Banner."

"Do I want to know?"

Clint glanced back "I sequenced Tony's DNA from a prick on the palm of his hand after giving him a tour of my apartment. Now I'm making blood capsules for my lunch date with Pepper. Warm blood tastes better, I think it tricks me into thinking it's more fresh."

"Okay," said Bruce slowly. "And the organ cooler?"

Clint turned around "Sit down, you'll see." As the blood bag heated up, Clint opened his first air kit "Actually, it'll be easier if you're on this side. I just noticed a lot of my vampire tech is made to look like human stuff." Feeding capsules from the green box into the top of the cooler, Clint kept an eye on the front. When the microwave beeped, he deftly removed the sizzling hot bag. Popping the top of the cooler, he dropped the bag in and closed it before typing on the keypad. Turning to Bruce, he explained "I don't waste. I can slip a whole pint of blood into my food and I plan to show Pepper how easy it is while I explain a few things about my bond with Tony." Raising his voice slightly, he asked "JARVIS, does Pepper order in when she doesn't have a meeting?"

"Indeed, shall I place your usual order wherever Ms. Potts decides?"

"Uh, sure. Let me know when I should head down, I'm not good at tracking time."

Bruce snorted "Part of being immortal?"

Clint shrugged "Guess so. Hey, do you mind if I take a sample of your blood? I think I might know a way to purify it so you could safely donate it. If I can rid it of the Gamma energy then surely you and Tony could streamline the process for transfusions."

"Uh, sure."

"What'd you come here about anyway?"

"I wanted to ask about the bond."

"I'm not actually hungry right now. My kids and Tony call me the world's most human vampire. For some reason, I don't need to drink as much blood as most. Hence my fast lasting four times as long as normal vampires'."

"Okay."

Clint clicked his tongue, thoroughly tired of sighing "My body won't accept blood from people other than Tony as anything more than sweets, they hold next to no nutritional value. That's why I sequenced Tony's DNA,"

"Okay, Clint, I think you're assuming the wrong thing."

"Probably, I do that." Focusing on the scientist beside him, "Let's try this again, don't beat around the bush this time. Hey, what's up Bruce?"

Bruce took a moment to collect his thoughts "What I wanted to ask is could your bond be making Tony's insomnia worse?"

"Not directly but as I'm sure you know, finding out you have a monster from urban myths living among you for almost a year can be nerve-wracking. Plus Tony met my kids last night and I think my youngest could qualify as a psychopath, his mother certainly was one, so that probably didn't help but I needed them to know each other. If something happens, the bond will keep me from feeding off other humans so my kids need to know the one person I can feed from. Plus, I don't want to add unnecessary stress if they visit here so introductions had to happen."

"Okay. What is it you're about to tell Pepper?"

"I already told Tony that his scent is calming to me, I think you were there when I said that. I can also put Tony to sleep, I thought Pepper might like to know I can end his binges."

"What?"

"I can't throw more information at Tony on top of meeting my kids. Lila's good if clingy and not fully aware of what's socially acceptable by human customs, she's my middle child. Cooper is old enough to remember Lila's birth and Lila is old enough to be confused by her mother's transformation."

"Their mother?"

"Laura was a normal vampire and eventually she grew tired of my quirks, the way I view humans as equals was especially grating. Anthony, my youngest who is slightly younger than Tony but could pass for 19," Clint took a deep breath, "Laura played sadistic games with me, used our children in them at times. Every time I encountered her after we split when Lila was little, I knew I'd have to make a sadistic choice. I'd never hold Laura's actions against Anthony but I think he does. His conception was the result of one of those games. As Cooper could tell you, I bit Lila when she was born. That bite is powerful, I did it for Cooper too. Unfortunately, after our last night together, I didn't see Laura enough to know about Anthony in time. I sensed his arrival but I couldn't get their in time to give the first bite."

"What's the bite do?"

"If I was like Laura, I could make Cooper and Lila do unspeakable things. Instead, I bit them to give them free will. I bit them, knowing I would never use the power it gave. After Laura's death, I tried again to form that connection with Anthony but I'm not sure it worked. He's a lot like his mother."

* * *

_Lunchtime_

Clint went down to the lobby, picked up Pepper's lunch with a flash of his Avengers ID to security and went back up to the CEO's office. Knocking on the open door with a smile to her secretary, Clint said "Pepper?" and hefted the delivery "Mind if I join you?" She waved to an open seat across her desk and worked to bring her phone call to an end. Clint closed the door on his way in. Setting the food on the open space on the desk, he pulled out a few pellet capsules and tossed them in his mouth.

With the phone call over, Pepper smiled at him "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Everyone's got questions now that the truth is out, figured you should take priority."

"What did you just pop in your mouth?"

"Blood pellets, I'm not particularly hungry but I figured I could show you how easy it is to slip blood into any meal. I don't usually feed from the source and this past year I couldn't because I lacked a willingly bonded human."

"JARVIS?"

"Already done, Ms. Potts."

"Might I remind you that I am over fifty years Tony's senior. My youngest son could pass for 19 but between him and Tony, there's less than a five year age gap."

"Really, so vampires do age?"

"Natural born do to an extent. I have three children, two boys and one girl in between them. There is about fifty year between each of my children, yet Lila couldn't pretend she baby sat for her little brother because they look that close. Lila looks like she's mid-twenties at most and Cooper, well he looks almost the same age but they couldn't pass for twins or anything."

"Cooper is?"

"My oldest. There's a strange vampiric naming tradition my wife Laura honored with our last child, she named him Anthony after Tony."

"The tradition being?"

"Naming the firstborn either something with Stark in it or in honor of a Stark. I discovered when the bond was setting that Tony's scent wasn't only calming but intoxicating. I'm used to it now but still, I had to press my nose to a door to calm down before I did something traumatic or bit him when I didn't need to." Taking a bite of his noodles, Clint swallowed before saying "There's a joke about me, Tony accidentally guessed it which Cooper found hilarious. I am the most human vampire in the world, Tony called me that because I play innocent so well." Sitting forward "You can ask me anything, I'll tell you no lies."

"This bond, how does it work exactly?"

"Something Tony figured out that I'm guilty of not considering, vampires never ask why. After being bonded to Phil, whose expression wouldn't change if he saw a leprechaun chasing a unicorn, I'll admit I don't remember the full list. In fact I just remembered a few effects I forgot when I told you and the Avengers what I am. I can feel when he's close to death and I can always find him, especially then. One time I made Phil very angry by rescuing him, he insisted he didn't need it and that I'd ruined the op but that's not what he put in the report. The calming effect works both ways."

That got Pepper's attention "How exactly?"

"Tony can calm me, I can lull him to sleep. They balance even if mine has to do with a scent he can't smell. I used that ability a few times on Phil when he was pushing himself to bite off more than he could chew. Nat enjoyed catching us asleep on the couch in his office but Phil never had a problem with it after the fact, even if he insisted against it." Clint took another bite before speaking "Unless Tony asks me to do it, I'm deferring to you on when to do it. I forgot about the ability so you'll have to be the one to tell him."

Pepper took a few bites as she processed everything "If I'm not around, defer to JARVIS." Raising her voice slightly like someone who'd been around the AI for a while, she said "J, if Tony's being stubborn, use Clint to get him to sleep." Lowering her voice again, she told Clint "JARVIS' primary directive is to care for Tony so you just gave us both a great gift but I'm sure Tony will never ask for it, he considers insomnia his superpower."

"Full disclosure, I remembered that ability earlier and thought I'd avoid sending Tony deeper into information overload by meeting to tell you first."

"Thank you, Clint. Can I ask something?"

With a smirk, Clint repeated "Ask me anything, I'll tell you no lies."

"What was your first name?"

"Tricky question, I'm not sure. I have an immortal body but a very mortal mind. Clinton and Francis, the first two parts of my name, are holdovers but I don't know how long I've been using the names."

"Alright, do you remember your kids' last names?"

"Lila's tricky because she has a habit that even I consider weird for a vampire. She has, on a few occasions, married a human because she'd bonded with them. This is weird for the same reason I was insistent that being bonded didn't make me and Tony boyfriends. The bond has nothing to do with either parties' feelings, it's not about love though sometimes lust is involved. The bond is pretty much a vampire choosing to feed from just that one human, plenty have been formed from stray thoughts."

"Stray thoughts?"

"A vampire starts drinking, takes too much for the human to just walk away unchanged but not enough to be completely drained, dead might be a better term. Instead of shrugging it off, they decide something about the human is worth saving. A stray thought like that face is too pretty to waste and you go from brink of death to bonded. Honestly some of what I'm telling you could come from practical jokes played on me, I'm a freak among monsters."

Narrowing her eyes at Clint and the empty take-out box, "How much blood did you slip into your food?"

"A pint. Now that we're bonded, blood other than Tony's will be like sweets to me, not much nutrients but taste fine nonetheless. I really need to come up with a better comparison than sweets, don't I?"

"You should think about it," Pepper smiled. "Thank you for taking the time to explain, or should I say setting aside the time to explain."

"The second one, given your life's shorter." Pepper could tell Clint was distracted when he answered but the look quickly cleared up, "Promise me you won't freak. Tony says I'm being stupid worrying about that but still, promise you won't freak."

Pepper agreed easily "I promise." Clint locked eyes with her for a moment before his jaw fell open with a hiss as he extended his fangs, forcing her to see the change in color. "Your fangs have been retracted while you've been consuming blood."

Clint looked surprised, his eyes turning to their normal blue "And in other news, the sky is blue."

Pepper couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out, "This is normal for you not me."

"I know, I just figured knowing they retract would set you on the path to figure that out."

"Really?" If one of her employees walked in, her jovial mood might scare them more than her normal fierce one. Realizing this, Clint walked into a wall and took deep breaths. "What are you doing?"

Stepping back, he turned to her "Did I mention I have a terrible habit of forgetting some of my less obvious abilities? I wanted to be sure this wasn't one of those times."

"So you scented the wall?"

"Walls and doors don't carry as many scents as the air itself, objects rarely do these days."

"These days?"

"I assume that when it was socially acceptable to wear something for days on end that scents then accumulated on that item. I don't remember but being over a hundred, I'm sure I lived it." He stretched with a yawn.

"When do you sleep?"

The look he gave her was clearly unimpressed before he perked himself up "Y'know, that's the first time I've been asked that and it's been almost three days since I was exposed. That's gotta be some kind of record. Before you get into clichés, I sleep on my couch not in a coffin and as for when, I don't have a set time since I'm a daywalker. Any other questions or do you have to get back to work?"

Pepper looked at her watch "Unfortunately, the latter. Could you put Tony to sleep tonight?"

Clint considered the request before saying "I will unless my presence is likely to cause undue stress. I don't want him to be afraid I'll use my power against him or he'll never get to sleep naturally again."

"Fair point but we can't let his binges last more than three or four days because then sleep deprivation will take effect."

"Alright." Clint smirked "It's not strictly true but what would you say to me telling Tony that alcohol takes away from the nutrients in blood? I was thinking yesterday and I realized that Nat had things backwards when she called Tony a narcissist, he hides it well but he's the opposite of selfish. If I tell him alcohol makes his blood bad for me then he'll be more likely to avoid it."

Pepper smiled "I think this arrangement will be very beneficial for all involved."

"Meaning? I'm clever not smart in my old age."

"I'm saying go for it, I like the idea."

"Oh, okay." Clint picked up the take out, "See you later."

* * *

_Nightfall_

As day turned to night, JARVIS spoke up on Clint's floor "You promised Miss Potts that you'd put Sir to sleep if such a thing were not likely to be detrimental,"

Clint got up and got in the elevator "Yeah, I remember and I'll ask you to do what I asked Pepper to do, use simpler words. I'm clever not smart. So, he's calmed down enough my presence won't stress him out."

"As long as you do not use your abilities, he may forget you are as you say a monster."

"I don't call myself a monster JARVIS, that's Bruce you're thinking of. I said I'm a freak among monsters. These days, vampires are affectionately called monsters."

"As you say."

Clint made sure to knock on the door to the workshop before entering and walking up to Tony. "Pepper asked me to put you to sleep, she knows you're stressed about me."

Without looking his way Tony chuckled "So her brilliant plan is to send the thing stressing me."

Clint crossed his arms and cocked his head "Isn't that how it works? Your mind won't stop working until it's solved a problem."

Tony spun on him "You are not a problem."

"Prove it, prove I'm not your problem."

"How do you want me to do that?" muttered Tony.

"Hit me." Tony gave him a sideways glance to which he raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "Hit me. If you can do that then I'll go up and tell Pepper her plan failed."

Tony let out a short laugh, "You must think I'm really stupid, don't you? Speed is one of your powers, so is strength."

"So is enhanced senses," agreed Clint. "You're going on day four, Pepper is worried about sleep deprivation which she said takes hold about that time. Either we can go to the couch and I can lull you to sleep or we can do it the other way."

With a sigh, Tony ran a hand over his face and said "Couch."

"After you, I insist." Clint followed Tony to sit on the couch, "This is actually the easiest way for me to do it, I did it with Phil enough times when he overtaxed himself." He reached out, "Lean against me." With a put-upon sigh, Tony did and Clint carefully adjusted the inventor's lower body so he was at a more relaxed angle. "Just relax. I'm not gonna do anything and nothing can get passed me."

"This worked on Agent?"

"A variation. When he was being especially stubborn I used vampiric strength to hold him but I won't need to do that with you, will I?"

"No, nope, don't need to hold me down."

"To be fair, when I was doing this to Phil, there was a desk in front of him covered in various forms he need to fill out. Man was a true bureaucrat, lived and breathed the system."

Tony smiled to himself even as drowsiness took hold, Clint's chest was a nice pillow "How are you so soft?"

"You're sleep deprived, I can't believe Pepper lets you go three whole days without intervening. I don't let myself go two days without power naps. Even on missions, going three days is dangerous."

"And you can't die," Tony pointed out with a drowsy sort of glee.

"As my late wife proved, crazy is not out of the question."

"Right," Tony burrowed his head against Clint's chest and drifted off.

Once he was sure Tony was asleep, Clint carefully lifted Tony and carried him out of the room. JARVIS got the doors until they were in the penthouse, where Pepper was waiting and walked ahead of them to get the bedroom door. Clint carefully set his favorite human in the bed, taking his shoes off before draping the blanket on him. Clint left the room, Pepper following "Can I sleep on your couch?"

"Sure." Clint threw himself over the back of the couch. "Hey, how did you get Tony to sleep?"

"I just coaxed him into a comfortable position, he did most of the work. But, if you really want to know, JARVIS can show you the security footage tomorrow after you get some sleep yourself."

Pepper smiled, turning around and waving goodnight to the immortal. Without being asked, JARVIS turned out the lights and dimmed the windows to send the room into pitch darkness. "Haha, very funny," Clint said whenever JARVIS tried to black out a room he was dozing in.


End file.
